If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.  11/20/2007 01:49

If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?  11/19/2007 22:34

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?  11/19/2007 13:25

I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.  11/19/2007 03:13

A computer scientist is someone who fixes things that aren't broken.  11/18/2007 20:10

Failure doesn't mean you've been disgraced. It means you were willing to try.  11/18/2007 06:08

Failure doesn't mean you don't have it. It means you have to do something in a different way.  11/18/2007 01:07

Failure doesn't mean you've wasted your life. It means you have a reason to start fresh.  11/17/2007 18:06

In the beginning there was nothing. God said, "Let there be LIGHT!", and there was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.  11/17/2007 14:40

God writes a lot of comedy. The trouble is, He's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny. [Garrison Keillor]  11/17/2007 04:25