An alarm clock is a device that wakes you up just in time to go back to sleep.  2/24/2009 23:16

I always tell the truth, even when I lie.  2/24/2009 23:15

You don't know where you're going, unless you know where you're coming from.  By Elton John - 2/24/2009 22:52

Please don't lie to me, unless you're absolutely sure I'll never find out the truth.  2/24/2009 18:51

Life is all about Ass: Everyone is either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, trying to get a piece of it, or simply just being one!  2/24/2009 15:22

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans. [Woody Allen]  2/24/2009 15:16

There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can not.  By Maribelle - 2/24/2009 14:12

I have not reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.  By Marwan - 2/24/2009 13:08

Am I the right person in the wrong world or am I the wrong person in the right world?  2/24/2009 06:42

Multi-Tasking gets easier as you get older... You can sneeze, piss and shit at the same time.  2/24/2009 01:07