I don't like getting married... if I do it, it's only for the pleasure of divorce.  7/16/2004 07:17

Lord, put one hand on my shoulder and the other over my mouth.  7/16/2004 00:54

Your failure to plan ahead does not make it my emergency!  7/16/2004 00:52

Why don't psychics win the lottery?  7/15/2004 20:52

Be kind, be kind, and be kind. And when all else fails, be kind.  By Texas - 7/15/2004 18:33

Why are there no comercial breaks on the shopping channel?  7/15/2004 18:17

Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.  7/15/2004 13:26

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?  By Seinfeld - 7/15/2004 09:19

On a Butcher's Window: Pleased to meat you.  7/15/2004 09:11

If today is the first day of the rest of your life, what was yesterday?  7/15/2004 08:20