Buy land. They've stopped making it. [Mark Twain]  7/13/2004 12:35

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. [Will Rogers]  7/13/2004 12:27

Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days. [Benjamin Franklin]  7/13/2004 12:23

Have you noticed that all the people in favour of birth control are already born? [Benny Hill]  7/13/2004 12:02

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. [Bill Cosby]  7/13/2004 23:45

I was the best man at the wedding. If I'm the best man, why is she marrying him? [Jerry Seinfeld]  7/13/2004 23:14

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.  7/13/2004 11:04

I'm not as think as you drunk I am.  7/13/2004 10:40

Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control.  7/13/2004 10:17

How can I miss you if you won't go away?  7/13/2004 10:03