How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?  By Jane - 11/14/2005 18:57

A woman came up to me yesterday and told me my cigarette smoke was bothering her. "Big deal," I told her, "it's killing me!"  By Xen - 11/14/2005 10:10

If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead. [Johnny Carson]  11/14/2005 04:10

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman? [Woody Allen]  11/13/2005 21:32

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?  By Sas - 11/13/2005 13:19

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?  By Lea - 11/13/2005 05:43

As we grow old... the beauty steals inward. [Ralph Waldo Emerson]  11/12/2005 23:38

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!  By Sally - 11/12/2005 17:17

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.  By Simon - 11/12/2005 10:46

Enjoy present pleasures in such a way as not to injure future one. [Seneca]  11/12/2005 03:12